Rhett's Birth

When my nephew Rhett was born I went down to the hospital to see my sister after she had her first baby.  I was single and in my first year of college.  Whitney was in recovery and Rhett had been taken to the nursery.  Whitney was laying in a bed with lots of blankets on her and shaking, (come to find out your body just shakes after having a baby).  She then started telling everyone what had happened in labor, she had been induced pushed for 3 hours and then the doctor decided he was too big and did a C-section.  Whitney was going into all the details and seeing her shaking telling this traumatic story I start to feel my head get light and I'm sure I was white as a ghost.  One of the nurses noticed told me to sit down and she got me an orange juice.  I felt so silly.  I couldn't even listen to Whitney's story and here she is just fine telling us what had happened to HER!

Flour Shower

Preston told me a good story the other day.  It was while he was on his mission; Preston's companion was Elder Brian Bailey, when they were in one of the worst apartments in Millville, New Jersey.  Second worst area in the mission, the first being Camden.

The shower in their apartment could hardly be called a shower.  When the shower was turned on it sounded like it was building up lots of pressure to shoot out in a big gush.  Instead, the building up noise was followed by a small trickle of water that would fall and diminish to just drips about half way down.  So what they would do to shower was fill up four large cups, getting wet with one, soaping, and then rinsing with the rest. 

On April Fools Preston listened for Elder Bailey to finish with his cups and then came in with a cup full of flour and dumped it over the top of the shower, covering his wet companion with white powder.  Preston recently communicated through emails with Elder Bailey as they both laughed about that day.  It was the perfect gag because Elder Bailey no longer had any water in his cups to wash off the flour.

Ninja Turtles

While I was walking around the neighborhood today I past by a sewer manhole in the street and it made me think of when I was little.  I don't remember how old I was but I'm guessing 7 or 8.  The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were pretty popular at the time.  I remember sitting out in the middle of the street with my friends Kayla and Amber, knocking on the manhole asking for the Ninja Turtles to come out and play with us.  And from what I remember it wasn't just a couple of minutes we were out there all day waiting for them to come play!

Poem of Preston

(written by Troy and Jace for Preston's 30th Birthday)

Now’s the time that we must rhyme,

before the night is through.

For on this day 30 years ago you were born,

with a face ½ blue.

You’ve grown up fast and had a blast,

each day of life you’ve lived.

So let’s go back and with some tact,                                        

recall some things you did.

The 1^st 10 years seemed so long ago,

oh wait, that’s right- it was!

No broken bones or broken neck,

a miracle from heaven above.

1-10 years old

Trampoline, bicycle jumps,

lots of rough horse-play,

Burning all the ant beds                                                

and almost the house one day.

Remember Layton’s hay stack?

Right off that you just flew

How many times did we hear “No Cho!”

If only we all knew.

You were known as Blood & Guts

But your traits won all the hearts.

Fun, kind, giving, I could go on

Remember kicking the Fun-Runner’s butts?

Before moving on we have to share

A bit of gratitude….

Thanks for the pancake breakfasts,                                          

the good times – more than a few,

for all those times you’d make us laugh,

I’m sure “You owe me one!”, too.  (punch each other)

Now that we’ve included niceties

And though we could go on and boast,

Lets take a break from the mushy stuff

And get back to THE ROAST!                                               

10-20 years old

Your angels put in overtime

to guard you through your life

The next 10 years were no different

Get ready, brace the wife!

Those years included wrestling days,

Often giving up some pounds

You’d think those “sheeters” had an edge

But you’d win with grunting sounds.

It seems “No Cho” always applied

For the spotlight, always striving

On wakeboard, snowboard,

Airchairs, too

Lets not forget his driving!

The day that Preston got his pass

To get behind the wheel

“Irregardless” of the car he drove

The tires would always squeal

Who has the record of most cars wrecked?

How ‘bout all the near misses?

Leave it alone – let’s not reflect

We’d hear the angel’s hisses (hsssssss!)

He got his Eagle, what a task

Graduated from High School, too

Then on to college in Provo

Where all the good he did undo

He still made pancakes on Saturdays

Times more fun we’ve never heard

He’d do his laundry wearing nothing but boxers                        

Girls secretly admired but just said, “Nerd”

Bumming rides from strangers

Or using the truck or motorcycles of mine

Sporting strange new hair cuts

And lense-less glasses from time to time.                                              

He did his two year walk-about

He served his mission, true

Returned with honor, respect and clout

But still the Preston we all knew

He had managed to break his collar bone

How many suits were torn?

Bike accidents – still Blood & Guts

While teaching others to be reborn.

20-30 years old

After his mission, what did we find?

Our Preston that we all loved.

Still giving Mother plenty of reason

To plead for help from above.

Stealing back impounded cars

True justice he would serve                                                                  

Fired and rehired of his job at the Brick

The Pizza Truck once thrown a curve!

But he was always valued

Putting in more than just two cents                                                        

He made good friends and had good times

And memories immense!

He plugged away in class

He worked his way through school

And though he had a blast

He’s learned to keep some rules.                                                         

Working, playing, always dating

When will it ever end?

And finally he found her

The girl who has that perfect blend.

Even though some never were quite sure                      

If he ever would mature                                                 

Yet somehow, someway here we are                           

How did he ever get this far?    

                                   

With Wife in hand and child in tow

More Decades are what’s next

But expectations you should know

At least 5 must fill your nest

Just as in times past & in times to come

There’s one thing you cannot worry

He’ll take life’s bumps and sometimes lumps

And create an exciting story!

So cheers to you where finally through

We thank you for the time

If aging ever gets you down

Just  re-read this Birthday rhyme!

Stapley Boys

Twas the night before Christmas,

And throughout the Stapley House,

Each boy had finally found,

His beloved she spouse.

Shane and Angeleen got started early,

You know how I know?

Because to count all their kids,

You must use your fingers and toes.

The rest of the boys took their ol’merry time,

Parents didn’t seem to understand,

Were there no girls to find?

Troy was not quite a menace to society,

Cuz he got married at twenty five, my mistake twenty five plus three.

He sure took his time tying the knot with his gal,

A few years before her mish and a few after her mission pals.

Finally came along Jace and we won’t mention his age,

But boy was that fun – How many times was he engaged? J

Some say he robbed the cradle,

Set the example for Press,

But were are glad to have his gal,

She looks pretty in any dress.

Just like the Stapley song there was one more,

“Then along came Preston number four”

And “Now we have more joy then we ever knew before”

And yes “We’re counting our blessings, And sharing our love,

Enjoying what’s been given from our father above”

There is much to say about a family that is close,

Of eight wonderful children of our parents to boast.

May we each remember why we love one another,

I truly can say I love each sister and brother.

Stories About Hillary told by Preston

This year I am feeling kinda dry of stories to tell about myself and since last year I have acquired a better half in my life that I have tons of fun with, I will focus on some of the funny stories that have evolved during our marriage this year. Some of these may be a little colorful but I will try my best to keep them clean.

There is the time that she had come in to the living room where I was watching TV and plopped on the couch with this cute pouty face and chuckling a little and said, “I want to tell you something because it is funny but I feel so dumb for doing it.”  I had all types of thoughts go through my head but they all pointed to the same question – How much is this going to cost me? She insured me that it was not bad and nothing was broken, then proceeded to tell me that she had waited to sign her Social Security Card because she hadn’t quite perfected her new name signature yet and wanted it to be cute.  She showed me the back of the card and in that same cute pouty face and voice she pointed out where she had spelled her last name incorrectly –StapELy. And there as no way of fixing it. People who might have to look at her SS card might not notice the misspelling if the correct spelling wasn’t typed right above her signature.

Next – my sleeping habits have changed drastically and will continue to do so I am sure once the baby comes, but Hillary has done well to prepare me for the day with her ever changing dramatic night shows.  They range form the time that she was trying to convince me that I didn’t fill out the proper paperwork for our insurance and when I probed her about what papers she responded with a convincing voice referring to the papers in her hand.  When I felt for her hand and found no papers I realized she was talking in her sleep.  But she didn’t end there.  She realized there were no papers in her hands got out of bed to go to the office to find them only to come to her senses once she was approaching the office that there were no papers but then was upset that I was correct (still under the sleepy influence).  When she returned I asked where she went and she said to get the papers but they weren’t there because “I kept faxing them to myself” is what she said.  Also there was the time that I was not able to sleep and being awake that night allowed me to experience that my wife can innocently drop her closed fist just above my eye with significant force without even realizeing it.  I just laughed for a few minutes while I waited to see how long she would leave it there.  I eventually had to move her hand.  Also there was the time that she woke me up by slapping me on the arm very hard. I am not sure if I was woken by the force of the slap or the loud noise the slap made.  Needless to say I was very confused as my wife, realizing what happened, started apologizing and telling me how much she loves me.